Tales of the Polycystic Ovaries

Umm, there was nothing there, but something should be and might be? Whatever!

Howie and I went to the clinic this morning so that I could get blood work and an ultrasound done.  As we expected there was nothing to see in my uterus.  Dr. What's-her-name (I can never remember) talked to me about how they sometimes have to worry about ectopic pregnancy if they can't see it in the uterus and my hcg level is still high.  Umm... THEY put the embryos in... how would an embryo end up in my tube?  WTF?  I just shook my head and said ok because I didn't expect that that would be something they'd actually continue to consider.  I just wanted to go home and lay down.  Around 1 pm I get a call from Nurse M&M and she told me that she's sorry to hear about the miscarriage, then she told me that my hcg level was 1211 and at that level something should be in there but sometimes it's hard to see before the hcg level reaches 1500.  So, they want me to come in tomorrow morning for more blood work and another ultrasound.  Not that they think Dr. What's-her-name doesn't do a great job with the dildo cam but perhaps a different doctor there might catch something else.  Can we all just agree that Dr. What's-her-name is a  moron, because I've always felt like she was the weak link and I never trust anything she says because she seems like she may have just learned something new from her medical books but doesn't really know a thing.  Maybe that's why I haven't taken the time to learn her name.  Anyway, fine, I'll go in for another probing.  Then she said that after the other doc wands me that we have to come up with a plan as to what to do about this pregnancy.  I might need an injection to clear things out in there.  Well, wait a fucking moment.  I don't think anything is actually alive in there because the whole inside of my uterus fell into the toilet last night, but if by some freak fucking chance something is in there... and not hiking up my fallopian tubes for fun... then why are we killing it?  I mean, if it's hard to see right now maybe we should just watch my hcg levels and see if they increase and then when they get high enough and if I haven't totally had another uterine purge then maybe we can do another scan and see if it has a heartbeat?  My sister knew someone that spent her whole adult life trying to get pregnant then when she did her docs thought she was miscarrying so they had her go in for a d&c and somehow they didn't scrape out the baby and thank God for that because the baby wasn't dead!  She didn't have a miscarriage and she carried the baby to term!!  WTF???  So, I'm not saying this is likely happening to me, but if we're still looking for something and thinking it's hard to see because my level is below 1500 still then why are we even thinking about a shot yet?  Why don't we just watch my hcg level.  If it's dropping then I'll take the crappy shot, but if it's going up then they aren't doing a fucking thing.  I think they're thinking it's growing in my tube but I don't think there's anything in there.  Can't you fucking check for that?  And if I did miscarry then I'm going to ask Dr. Hotness to do some blood tests on me because why the hell do I keep miscarrying and passing loads of blood clots.  My first miscarriage wasn't like that, I just started bleeding like a period.  The last two times I passed giant blood clots for 2 to 3 hours with awful cramps that were like an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10.  After passing the blood clots the bleeding and cramping stops.  It seems weird.  I wanted to go buy a venti pumpkin spice latte when everything went to hell but with all this is the baby in there or not business I decided to hold off on the caffeine injection.  Let's hope there's more info tomorrow but I doubt anything will be more clear.  

"That's what you get for calling your body a piece of $*#@ money pit"

That's what my friend, Miss L (Can I refer to you as Miss L, hon?) said when she called me back this morning after getting my text about the embryo report.  Nurse M&M called about an hour ago and said, "I have good news."  Good news?  What's that?  She said that out of the 17 eggs retrieved yesterday 15 of them were mature enough for fertilization and of those 12 of them fertilized normally!!  I HAVE TWELVE EMBRYOS!!!  My body showed me!  I have to go back and check but I'm very sure I didn't even have 12 eggs retrieved when doing the IVF cycle that Aislinn was conceived.  TWELVE EMBRYOS!!!  Nurse M&M explained that this makes me a good candidate for a day 5 blastocyst transfer, which we wanted, but they wouldn't be able to come in on Tuesday yet.  They might call tomorrow but if not then they'd call me back first thing on Sunday morning.  Holy cow!  12 EMBRYOS!!!  Ok, enough celebrating.  I can't let it get to my head.  This is good news but it doesn't mean that everything else will turn out the way that we hope, so I'm going to just take it one day at a time.  

As for me physically, I was sooooooo unbelievably uncomfortable last night.  I felt so bloated and it felt like my belly was distended.  The good thing was that I could still pee because I guess when you can't be then you have severe OHSS, but as uncomfortable as it was it was only a sign of mild OHSS.  I think it was just gas.  I was up all night peeing because I kept drinking Gatorade to make sure that I could still pee.  By the time the sun came up I was feeling much better.  Now I'm only mildly uncomfortable which actually feels great after what I experienced last night.  

Because it was suggested that I sleep on an incline while feeling so horribly bloated I slept on the couch and Aislinn slept with me since she was sick and felt like she was on fire.  She woke up at 5 am crying so Howie, who slept in the chair next to us (poor Howie), and I got up and changed her diaper together because she was freaking out about having her soaking wet diaper changed and I didn't want to get kicked in my bloated belly.  She then asked for applesauce and water and a popsicle.  LOL.  After that she snuggled back up with Howie and we all went back to sleep on the couch.  She woke up in a good mood, still a bit warm, but happily eating crackers and apple juice.  I think she'll be fine tonight and hopefully will sleep in her own room.

I need to give myself a time out!

Could I be more dramatic?  Can I blame it on my hormones?  Sorry for all the drama, but Dr. Hotness was all kinds of negative about my insides this morning and I almost cried right in front of him like a jackass.  Anyway, Nurse M&M called and all is fine.  My estrogen went up REEEEAALLY well so I'm just going to stick with my same dosage and go back on Sunday.  Let's hope it keeps getting better.  Cross your fingers, toes, arms, legs, eyes and anything else that you can cross for me, pleeease!  I need it!